India answers to Justin Bieber list of demands

Justin Bieber obviously talented and clearly a little anxious about coming to India gives list of demands so he is in the right state of mind and to be honest we get it and to be fair it’s not that extreme. 

We caught up with his local Indian tour manager Ajit who was a little shocked about what the fuss was, said ” we have it totally sorted, belieb me each and everything has been taken care of”. 

He even replied with the following. 


“A rolls Royce and a jet to himself, two Volvo buses for his 120 member crew”


Mr Bieber, we have better we will provide you best transport. Swift dZire ( also known as Indian Rolls Royce ) better on mileage and easy parking. Volvo, what is this nonsense we can not put you in this, we have better, we have Tata bus and we will put red light on top, it will look fantastic and will go too fast. Relax. Jet, well we will give you Spice jet, better leg room and to be honest the food is too good, you can even buy things inflight no problem. 


You asked for a ping pong table, a PlayStation, IO hawk, a sofa set, a washing machine, refrigerator, cupboard and massage table. 


Belieb me we have nailed this. We will provide Carrom board, this is too good and if the power goes off ( which it will ) you can still play. Sofa’s are not good for your posture we will give you Gadda’s in each and every color so your room will look like a Maharaja’s palace. You are staying close to Dhobi-ghat your clothes have never looked so good. Refrigerator, We will give you not one but 5 matka’s which will keep your water too cold. Cupboard ok you got us here, we will give you. Massage table is in your room, just remove elephant ornament from the table. 


You want 2 five star hotels, rooms with purple carnations and no lily flowers

We always give you more, we provide 3 hotels for you, one 1 star and two 2 star ( total 5 star ) very close to metro and good for sightseeing. 

The walls are all painted purple too, which was original color so no paint fumes, you will love it. Views are too good. 

Lily’s we will only put them in the  toilet it is ok


You wanted yoga, candles and Insence sticks, dove body wash and lip balms. 


Oh you worry too much Bieber ji we have this, it is India we have each and everything. 

India is the home of Yoga, We even have a Yogi as a political leader and have national holiday for it, don’t you worry no need to get from Kerala. Incense sticks, we will be burning Gobar for you to make sure you get full Indian experience. Dove body wash, we will sign a endorsement with Dove sir and the photos we take in your bathroom will become a national ad campaign, you fame in the west will look like nothing compared to India! 


Have you been to Indian wedding? You know nothing, we have this so don’t you worry ok, a low key wedding has more people than your little get together concert and we don’t have to provide food so this is too easy!


You want boiled vegetables and ranch sauce with some lettuce I don’t know what it is. 


We have Chotu with chetak 125cc he is at your disposal to get you anything you feel like, just need 45-90 min advance in Mumbai traffic is too bad. We also go one step further ( Indian hospitality ) we are setting up stand in your lobby with 24hr supply of Mumbai burger called Vada-Pav even Anthony bourdain thinks they are too tasty!


You are a super star and your list was too small so we do something special. We will give you

Thumbs up – warm not too cold

Water cold and room temperature ( because if it’s too cold it is not good for your health)

Parle-G biscuits – dip it in your chai, your welcome

Aloo bhujia


Bread pakora

Chole bhature ( you will die this is too good) please eat before bed it can make you little sleepy

Sula wine which is better than any wine in the world, you will love it

Relax as we said normal india wedding we cater for 2-3,000 people your backstage team is hardly 200 this is nothing


You want shirts and socks?

Your mother is not packing your case or what? What is this nonsense, this is not good Justine 

We have spoke to H&M ( this is foreigner brand you know ) they said they have clothing with your name on it, in case we lose you in crowd this is good idea no.  They are sending.